Audenshaw

I had nothing of value to add to that truth, so I remained silent and we continued to walk. On the other side of the reservoir I noticed another couple. I glanced at Rachel, who was staring straight ahead as if she were trying to see the future. I imagined she had applied lip salve, some sort of skin protection. She was wearing sunglasses and her scarf blew behind her in the wind that flew across the water. Her hands were thrust deep into the pockets of her windproof jacket, but I knew she would be wearing fingerless gloves as well.

Without looking at me she said: ‘Why are you looking at me?’

‘I’m not,’ I blurted out, then added ‘I’m looking at that couple over there.’

She squinted out over the water for a moment then looked back ahead of her.  ‘Imagine us like that.’

I looked at her again. What did she mean? Without knowing the age of the distant figures I had no way of knowing if she meant ‘imagine us at their age’, or, if the couple were in fact our own age and appeared to be happy, whether Rachel was talking about our relationship again.

‘Why?’ I asked, hedging my bets.

‘I mean content. Enjoying each other’s company. Not on edge all the time.’

‘I’m not on edge all the time,’ I said, and immediately felt the walls of this trap begin to rise around me.

‘I didn’t say you were,’ she said softly. So softly I was not sure whether there was malice in her voice or not.  I looked at her face for a clue but the sunglasses hid her eyes and she pulled up her scarf around her mouth, ostensibly against the wind, but effectively cutting me off.

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