The Ikea in Ashton can be seen from space

‘Don’t exterminate me!’ he mumbled incoherently.

But the aliens weren’t looking at Ray, they were looking at the fallen bookcase. As impossible as it was to make out what they were thinking, he got a sense that they were puzzled by it. They started jabbering at each other, lights flashing, and shrieks emitting from each of them.

Ray edged away. There was a pile of the flatpack bookcases.

‘Here,’ he said. ‘You see, you assemble them yourself.’ He pulled one of the bookcases off the shelf and pushed it their way. There was a picture of it fully assembled.

The aliens gathered around him. The leader of the group nodded at the others, and they moved away from Ray and, using some kind of laser lifting beam, carried four of the flatpacks with them. He watched as they headed towards the tills.

‘I’m going to tell someone!’ he shouted.

The aliens were now in a circle, their ‘purchases’ in the middle. To his astonishment one of them looked directly at him, and in a voice that sounded like one of his social workers, spoke to him.

‘And who is ever going to believe you, Ray?’

His mouth was now wide open. A shaft of light appeared above the aliens and they all stood within its confines.

‘By the way,’ said the alien with the social worker voice, ‘we’ve opened the goods entrance for you, do get home safely.’

And with that the four aliens waved to him, and dematerialised into the shaft of light.

Sure enough, just as the alien had said, the door by the goods entrance was on the latch, and Ray was able to leave the store unseen and walk home. Looking up at the sky, he saw the bright dot returning the direction it had come from, until he could see it no more.

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