A Superhero Love Story

Michael glared at the girl from Wetherspoons, who ignored him and said: ‘This is Michael, everyone.’

‘Hi, Michael,’ chorused everyone in the kitchen. Michael sat down, and the girl in the cape offered him a biscuit. There were six people sitting around the table, and a handful more sitting on work surfaces or leaning against the fridge.

‘I’m the Pink Lady,’ said the girl from Wetherspoons, and curtseyed. ‘Meet Drama Queen, Activist Boy, Police Man, The Educator, Crimefighter Girl and The Monk.’ Michael smiled weakly to each in turn.

‘And this hairy guy,’ she said, gesturing to Tone, ‘is the Queen of Hearts.’ Tone flexed a bicep and fluttered his eyelashes.

‘That’s what they call me,’ he said. Michael tried to say something and promptly choked on his biscuit. The Monk looked at him encouragingly.

‘Are you-’ he stopped. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. ‘Are you, um, SRPs as well?’ He hadn’t recognised any of their names, but he couldn’t think of any other reason why a group of reasonably normal looking human beings would be sitting around a kitchen in fancy dress.

‘SRPs?’ repeated Police Man. ‘Ha!’ He turned to Drama Queen. ‘This guy thinks we’re SRPs!’ Drama Queen rolled her eyes.

‘We’re Real-Life Superheroes,’ she said. ‘Didn’t she tell you?’ Michael shook his head.

‘Why’s he here then?’ asked Drama Queen, turning to the girl from Wetherspoons. ‘No offence.’

‘None taken,’ said Michael. ‘What is a Real-Life Superhero anyway?’

‘You know what a superhero is?’ asked the Monk. Michael nodded. ‘Well then. We’re Real-Life versions. We’re ordinary people who engage in heroic activities.’

‘That’s right,’ said the Educator. ‘Couldn’t have put it better myself.’

‘We do good deeds,’ said Drama Queen.

‘In costume,’ added the Queen of Hearts. Michael couldn’t help himself. He laughed.

‘That’s OK,’ said the Monk, looking down at himself. ‘It is pretty funny. I’m a solicitor really. And the Queen of Hearts is a chef.’

‘Sorry,’ said Michael. ‘I didn’t mean to laugh. So what kind of, uh, good deeds do you do?’ As he asked, he had a sinking feeling that he knew why the Pink Lady had brought him there.

‘Oh, you know,’ said The Educator. ‘Fight crime, save lives, punish people who deserve it.’ Pink Lady stepped forward.

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