A Superhero Love Story

‘Wonder Woman!’ squealed a red-head in a tight grey suit, throwing her arms around Michael’s girlfriend. ‘It’s been forever!’

‘Jean!’ cried Wonder Woman. ‘Great to see you! Jean, meet Bruce; Bruce, this is Jean.’

‘Jean Grey,’ she added in an undertone. ‘One of the X-Men.’ But Michael was one step ahead.

‘Hi, Jean,’ he said, shaking her hand. ‘Good journey? Did it, uh, take you long to get here?’

‘Half an hour,’ Jean replied. ‘Not bad.’

‘And did you get the bus?’ inquired Michael. ‘Or did you use your powers of telekinesis?’ It was the wrong thing to say. Jean Grey looked at him oddly, and Wonder Woman poked him sharply in the ribs.

‘We’ll catch up with you in a bit, Jean,’ said Wonder Woman, prodding Michael in the small of his back to get him moving.

‘You’re trying too hard!’ she hissed. ‘Relax!’ She steered him over to the bar, where Michael bought them both a glass of wine. When Wonder Woman excused herself to go to the bathroom, Michael bought three more and hid the empty glasses behind a pillar.

There was the Green Lantern, competing with a friend to see who could down a pint of Guinness the fastest, and over there was Wolverine, showing a rapt audience the innovative way he’d designed his retractable claws. Another Wolverine was buying a packet of crisps at the bar, and this Wolverine – he was relatively sure – was a woman. And why not? He was no Bruce Wayne. He counted at least eleven Spidermans (they looked very similar), two Iron Mans, an Iron Fist and a Clark Kent. No Supermans, though. Perhaps it was de trop to come as Superman. Perhaps it was de trop to come as Batman. (Although he wasn‘t Batman, he was Bruce Wayne). Why hadn’t Wonder Woman warned him? He felt as out of place and unpopular as he’d done on the first day of school, a feeling compounded when a twenty-six-stone Captain Planet knocked into him from behind with a tray of beer.

‘Move!’ snarled Captain Planet. Michael moved, but not before a good half-inch from the top of the nearest pint slopped over the edge of the tray and down his jacket. He looked at the mark, looked at Captain Planet, and decided not to say anything. Michael dabbed at his jacket with a paper napkin from the bar, and felt horribly ashamed. Bruce Wayne would never have allowed Captain Planet to blemish his jacket! Was he even really a superhero? An environmentalist maybe, but he couldn’t hold a torch to Bruce Wayne!

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